It seems like meditation has been “the new thing” pretty much my whole adult life. I was a psychology major way back when, so I looked into “Transcendental Meditation” (TM) some 50 years ago. (Recall that back then the TMers made big noises about scientific validation of their claims, so it was especially interesting to academic psychology.) I haven’t been doing psychology since then, but I do check in on this particular set of practices.
Obviously, meditation is not new—it wasn’t new when the Beatles “discovered” it—but it has been rebranded many times so it seems all sparkly. So, in recent years, we’ve seen a lot of enthusiasm for “Mindfulness”, which is, in fact, the same things as the TMers were doing when I was a lad. I’ll grant you, “Mindfulness” is a better name for it than “Transcendental Meditation”.
This month I learned of a new name for it, “Mind Gardening” [2]. This is a sexy name for these concepts, so I had to take a look. As far as I can tell, the actual techniques seem to be the same as always, and similar claims are made about “minds” and “brains” and such [3].
I did note that Mind Gardening is often sold as an answer to distraction and digital addiction, which is very trendy. “Weed out” all the junk the internet put in your head and nurture the beautiful stuff. Mind Gardening seems to lean toward the personal agency end of the spectrum. Less “transcendental” and psychedelic, more “take charge of my own life”. In some versions, the headline promise is happiness, in others it is more about increased productivity.
But wait! There’s more!
Apparently, the new new thing is “Romanticizing Your Life” [1]. That sounds really cool! What’s it about?
If I understand correctly, this may involve meditation / mindfulness / mind gardening, but it also calls upon notions about the importance of performance, i.e., doing stuff, especially symbolic stuff. Personal rituals, maybe. (I associate these concepts with contemporary wicca and related thinking, but they also seem to underlie performative politics a la Q.)
As far as I can tell, the core concept is to make yourself the main character in your own story, and to jazz up that story. The word “romance” seems to be used as in “romance novels”—non-ordinary setting, elegant décor, significant personal experience. This doesn’t seem to be a social kind of “romance” at all, let alone erotic. (Though we can always hope!
Like meditation / mindfulness / mind gardening, the goal of romanticizing is to be happy; in particular, to be happy with what you have and who you are. Romanticizing and main characterizing involves creating personal scenes, rituals, and so on, things that make you happy. The emphasis is on personal happiness, and on agency, taking charge of your own life. Maybe not a different or better you, but definitely a happier you.
There are, of course, some good ideas here. Taking charge of your own life is important (it’s called “being an adult human”), and figuring out what really makes you happy—not what other people say makes you happy—is definitely useful and healthy. Taking action is good for you, too, even if it is only a “silly little personal ritual”. If it makes you happy and makes you appreciate what you have, I’m in favor of it.
So, sure. I’d certainly endorse adding ritual to mindfulness. Don’t just sit there meditating! Do something!
However, this “main character” notion does highlight some of the things I don’t like so much about the practices of mindfulness, et al.
One of the key concepts in mindfulness etc is a combination of acceptance of the world, suppressing negative thinking, and emphasizing positive thinking. Taken to extremes, this can create a private world of wishful thinking, indifference to others, and passivity toward the world around you.
“What happens is meant to happen. Don’t worry, just be happy.”
Aside from the moral question about when “acceptance” is OK (and, worst case, when it becomes complicit with evil), I have strong reservations about the psychological healthiness of suppressing negative thoughts and prioritizing wishful thinking. Worst case, this approach could mean ignoring important feedback from the world (i.e., failing to learn from experience), and living in a self-centered fantasy world. If your life becomes a game where every event is a secret sign that reinforces your own destiny, this could be highly dangerous to you and others.
And, more to the point, this is not necessarily the path to happiness.
As an aside, I suspect that the performative psychology of “main characterization” etc. is similar to the performative psychology of web-based rabbit holes. I might speculate that the main difference between a harmless “romanticize your life” and a life changing QAnon-like experience, is that the political movement is all about rejection of the world rather than acceptance.
Griping about “those people”, is one thing; personally chasing down vast satanic conspiracies is making yourself the main character in an epic story.
Which brings up the second thing that I don’t like about romanticizing / main charactering. As far as I know, happiness is not about pleasing yourself, it is about being good to other people, and feeling gratitude for the good things others do for you.
You can call it altruism, or call it family or community, or just call it “being human”. Paying attention to other people, and acting to promote their well being is generally the most satisfying thing any person can do. And call it gratitude, or being thankful, or maybe being humble. Feeling and expressing gratitude for the good things in your life is likely to make you happy.
Combine with the above: express and show how grateful you are to people who love and care for you; you’ve got the basis for a good life.
My own view is that you can rename it all you want, but mindfulness and romancing your life won’t make you happy without gratitude and kindness toward others.
The most important point here is that; to the degree that “mind gardening” or “romanticizing” is a solo performance, a one-person show; it is not only missing out on a lot, I think it is not likely to actually make you happy. It’s not that you can’t live your whole life in a fantasy world. It’s that you would be a lot better off if you focus on other people, and work hard to be thankful for things besides your own happiness.
- Christina Caron, The Mundane Thrill of ‘Romanticizing Your Life’, in New York Times. 2022: New York. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/11/well/mind/romanticize-your-life-tiktok.html
- Sadhbh O’Sullivan, Too Many Thoughts Living Rent-Free In Your Head? Try Mind Gardening, in Refinery29, April 25, 2022. https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2022/04/10953988/mind-gardening-organize-thoughts-increase-productivity
- Karo Wanner, Through the cultivation of the mind, everyone can find true happiness and satisfaction, in Mind Cafe, July 2, 2020. https://medium.com/mind-cafe/how-to-cultivate-your-mind-garden-d193a7a481a6
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